he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Green mimosas i think yes
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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