sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
