I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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