Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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