the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
