so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
