You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
