No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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