she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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