I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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