From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Can I color on your dick again?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
