i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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