is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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