You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
