My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
