well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize