dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Text me some of your sweat
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
