got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
