yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
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