the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
A+ Viking dick
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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