dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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