We named our party play list daddy issues
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
They have beer where we have blood.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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