their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
