Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
