So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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