He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
