i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
