and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
so much tequila, so little girl.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
