i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
My ass is underappreciated
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
