why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
