I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
