i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
