Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
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