I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
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