Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
