Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Can I color on your dick again?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
