cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
