I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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