i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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