Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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