drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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