we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
