Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
