Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
