My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
