this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
