I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Randomize
