Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
