I want to stick my p in your. b.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
