It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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