this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
