I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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